Debrief last week in Sihanoukville, Cambodia was awesome! here's a little glimpse. We had a refreshing time of relaxation and enjoying each other as a squad while being discipled by Seth & Karen and digging deeper into God as he prepared us for our ministries in Phnom Penh (which we're now immersed in). Thank the Lord that He gives us all we need to do this crazy year of travel missions!
It was more than a year ago but I remember the night clearly. I was nearly sobbing as I confessed to my friends at small group that I was terrified of not figuring out what God wanted me to do with my life. I didn't have a clue what job to pursue, where to move to, or what to make a priority as soon as my job ended in December. I couldn't hold back the tears that came from these fears. But Emily, Paul, Jeremy, Dan, and Tom encouraged and prayed for me that night, and I was grateful for it. ...
Just a little while later, I was hangin' out with some of my girls from work at Samaritan's Purse, Ginna and Nichole. (hey girls! I miss you!) I remember the conversation clearly...we were discussing our hopes/plans/dreams/fears about the future and what we might do when our internships ended in December. As I began sharing some of my dreams with the girls, Ginna said--and I remember the moment clearly--"Have you ever heard of the World Race?"
Yep. It's been just about exactly one year since I first heard about the Race. Now I'm sitting in a little cafe in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, and my mind can't comprehend what's happened in that year. We're beginning month four of the Race, but every day I live out this crazy missions trip I remember how faithful God has been to bring me to this place.
Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." I can testify because of this past year that this is the TRUTH. As I gave up my dreams to the Lord and began to really, truly trust that He was guiding me, He began showing me the path laid out for me...which for this year means the World Race, the design of which fulfills many of my heart's desires. I have seen the Lord's faithfulness in my life this past year.
Verses 5-6 say "Commit your way to the Lord, trust in Him and He will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun."
Last month in Vietnam, God gave our squad many visions relating to light and fire shining in (and banishing) the darkness. Vietnam was spiritually dark...and now we are in Cambodia, which is even darker! About 93% of the population here is Buddhist, and the horrible recent history of the Khmer Rouge (1975-1979) weighs on this nation with a spirit of death. During that time, about 2 million people were executed or starved or worked to death. We as Christians know that the one true HOPE is found in Jesus Christ, but most in this country do not know that, and the darkness of death and captivity is heavy.
Anyways, that was a tangent. The real reason I'm writing this blog is to reflect on the past year and encourage all of you back home. We know that the American economy is continuing to fall, and many may face harder times than they've ever known.
But I am here to TESTIFY that the LORD GOD is WITH YOU....he truly is might to save, and he will never leave or forsake you. No matter what the economy or job market or your bank account or stocks look like, keep your eyes on God. He WILL provide!
Verses 16-19 says "Better the little that the righteous have than the wealth of many wicked; for the power of the wicked will be broken, but the LORD upholds the righteous. The days of the blameless are known to the LORD, and their inheritance will endure forever. In times of disaster they will not wither; in days of famine they will enjoy plenty."
I know that God is good and that He will take care of you, no matter what it seems like in the material world. Be encouraged and keep your focus on the Kingdom of God, not on the kingdoms of men!
"The salvation of the righteous comes from the LORD; He is their stronghold in times of trouble." (verse 39)
After living in the Motorbike Capital of the World for more than two weeks, I decided it was only fitting to do a photo blog about the joy of motorbikes in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam!
Most city residents' primary form of transportation is by motorbike. There are millions of them within the city.
During our time in the city, many Racers got to ride on motorbikes with Vietnamese friends we made, whether to go to ministry sites or to go hang out! (below, Tara and Tara as I shot them from the back of my own ride!)
I have no idea what this sign says, but I like it.
I have gotten to ride on friends' motos five or six times. oh the joy! It requires trust, too, because of the traffic...
i really just took this picture because I liked the texture of the wall
Unlike many car drivers in the States, moto drivers actually use their mirrors, because if they didn't they might die.
This was taken by pointing the camera over my shoulder while riding a moto.
Those who don't have motos often go by a bike without the motor! I love this shot because these girls are wearing the traditional Vietnamese dress.
It's not uncommon to see three or even four people on a moto. For example, in the shot below, there are three generations on one moto!
OK here's one more non-moto shot, but I like the photo, so it's for fun.
I hope you enjoyed a glimpse of moto life in Ho Chi Minh city. COMING SOON...video clips of the Ho Chi Minh City Wild Ride (taken from the back of moving motos, oh my!)
As we left the orphanage for handicapped children, I began wondering what it was that was holding my heart back from overflowing with love for these broken children. For hours I revisited that room in my mind, thinking about the children's faces, those who looked at me and smiled, those who looked at me and cried, those who hadn't the ability to really look at me. I felt compassion for them, a sort of pain at wondering why the differences in our lives were so vast...but I knew that I didn't LOVE them.
Why is my heart so cold? Isn't this why I came on the Race in the first place, to love on orphans and widows and those in distress, like it says in James 1:27? I came on the Race asking to be broken for the brokenhearted, to be open to feeling their pain and the pain in God's heart as he longs to make them his children. So what the heck am I doing here if not that?!?!?
I kept on whining like this to God, my frustrations at my lacking boiling over into near anger. I can look on them and feel sorry for their desperate situations...but I couldn't make myself love them. And the last thing I want to be is a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. As I pondered all of this I began reading John 15, the chapter about Jesus being the vine and we being the branches. Certain parts jumped out at me, rearranging themselves in my thoughts...so here's my John 15 remix for you.
"You are my friends if you do what I command. My command is this: love each other as I have loved you. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Now remain in my love. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. You did not choose me, but I chose you to go and bear fruit--fruit that will last. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples."
I realized with a start why I haven't been able to really love those orphans. It was because I wasn't remaining daily fully immersed in Jesus' love. Since we arrived in Vietnam, I have had difficulty finding a routine time during the day to spend completely alone with Jesus, to remain in his love so that I can go follow his command to love others, and in doing so to bear fruit. And since I wasn't remaining fully in his love, I had no love to spare for the orphans...I couldn't bear fruit in loving them...I could do nothing.
Well, I've put myself out there, sharing with you my failure and what I've learned from it. As the Lord has answered my questions and shown me the truth, and I have chosen to share this truth with you, I do so hoping that you will look at your own lives and ask the same question. Are you remaining fully in the love of Christ, where he wants you to be? Because without remaining in his perfect love, you will not be able to go out and bear fruit--fruit that will last.
Remain in Christ's love. Bear fruit by loving others with his love. ...There's no other way.
*Note: we weren't allowed to take cameras into the orphanage, which is why there are no pictures in this blog.
The orphanage was a place of broken bodies, broken minds and broken souls. I walked in and felt the compassion of the Lord...but something kept me from really loving the handicapped orphans with the love of Christ. Something in my ever-failing humanity blocked my heart from overflowing with love. I fed them and played with them. I sang songs to them and told them that Jesus loves them and spoke words of life and love over them. But something kept my heart from breaking with love for them.
The room is colorfully painted with cartoon characters, much like any nursery back in the States. Twenty or so beds are the residing places of handicapped orphans, physically or mentally or both. Many are probably victims of Agent Orange, the poison that the U.S. dumped all over Vietnam during the war in the 70s. It infiltrated entire water and plant systems, and its effects are still being borne out in deformed bodies and demented minds. And such children are unwanted burdens on their families, who struggle as it is to feed themselves, much less another mouth that can't return work for the food.
One little boy, probably about 8 years old, grabbed my hand and just stood there. He wore a dirty pajama one-piece suit over some sort of heavy cloth diaper. I tried to look into his eyes but saw nothing there, absolutely nothing...just emptiness. I couldn't hold his blank gaze. He screwed up his face and began crying, that painful sort of crying just on the verge of wailing, but he couldn't express his pain enough to even get the wail out. He gripped my hand and wouldn't let go; with my other hand I tried to rub his back as I whispered Jesus into him. But he just kept crying and crying...so I started singing "Jesus loves you" to him, softly, melodic, a tune he'd probably never heard before. It took a few times...but he stopped crying. He looked sideways out of his squinted eyes at me, and I may have imagined it, but I thought I saw a spark of something there...a spark more than emptiness. I kept singing and praying over this child...but the moment was gone; he averted his gaze and descended again into his almost-wailing cry of desperation. But there was nothing more I could do...
I gently pulled my hand out of his and went to the far corner of the room where a little girl lay spread-eagle on her bed, each hand and foot tied to the bedpost with rags. She had sores on her temples and her eyes rolled around wildly, making it impossible to look into them. Repeatedly she lifted her head and shoulders up, banging them back down on the mattress, again and again, banging and banging. When she paused for a minute tensed with her head and upper back raised above the mattress, I began rubbing her back as I whispered and sang Jesus into her. When she started banging her head again I started rubbing her arm and her stomach. For maybe ten minutes I persisted before moving on to another child...there were so many. So many to love...
One bright-eyed teenager lay on her bed with useless legs. When I came close she peered up at me through her one good eye, and I could see that this one at least was mentally present. I began speaking to her, and surprisingly she understood a little English. I found out her name and told her I loved her earrings and that she was beautiful and that Jesus loves her so much. I sat down next to her low bed, and before long three more kids were on top of me, in my lap and pulling on my hands and my feet, pulling my hair and hitting my back. She looked over and began telling me some of their names, too....but I wasn't enough. After a mere ten minutes I was overwhelmed and relieved that it was time for my team to leave...
Going into the orphanage I had an idea of what it was going to be like. But actually being there, seeing the children's broken bodies and minds and spirits, I was overwhelmed that there is so much need for love in the world. I knew I wasn't enough and that our five or ten minutes with each child wasn't enough. But the thing is... we'll never be enough. Years after we leave this country there will still be broken bodies and spirits to tend to, and everywhere we go there will be more broken bodies, broken minds and broken spirits.
So at the orphanage, I could feel my lack of true love for these orphans. I couldn't figure out why there was something missing in my heart for them...why I couldn't love them with the perfect love of Christ. I could easily sing and pray over them and rub their backs and feed them. But I couldn't easily love them.
As a reader of my blog you may or may not have been reading other blogs from my squad...and thus you may or may not be aware of some stuff we've got going on up in Ho Chi Minh City.
After the first night spent at our little hotel we realized that the bottom floor of it is reserved for prostitutes and their clients. Since staying here we've been doing our best to keep an all-night prayer watch which we've been calling "Fire in the Night."
My beautiful teammate and squad leader Stephanie Fisk writes a little more about it here.
Well, this coming Sunday night (which will be Sunday day for all you East Coast peeps) we're setting up an all-night worship & prayer event to go to battle to intercede for this hotel and against human trafficking.
We want you to pray with us.
You see, once upon a time this hotel was used quite often for Christian pastors and conferences. But through the last 15 years or so things have changed, leading to today's practices of rent-by-the-hour and such. So, the enemy has been squatting on this land for a while and has been bringing down these girls and their male clients with him.
But then God sent us to stay here (originally we were supposed to be at a different hotel, but the Vietnamese police intervened--little did they know they were being used by God to redirect our paths to this location so we can put up a fight).
Soooo, all that to say, Sunday night we're gettin' our spiritual armor dirty. We're bringin' it. Truth and light and love, all through prayer and praise and whatever God leads us to do.
God gave me Isaiah 60 to proclaim over this Vietnam. "Arise, SHINE, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord
rises upon you! See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is
over the peoples, but the Lord rises upon you and his glory appears
over you. Nations will come to your light, and kings to the brightness
of your dawn...."
Pray with us and we'll let you know what happens.
(below--on the left, the entrance hallway to the hotel. the glowing thingy in the back corner of the lobby is a Buddhist shrine thing)
A foreign campus teeming with motorbikes and an incredible number of students in a small place can be an overwhelming place to visit when one has neither a targeted location to go (or even a distinct purpose). Nevertheless, we were expected to "do ministry" at a university, so off we went with our Christian Vietnamese translator.
Wandering around near the main building, we spotted some girls who kept peeking our direction with huge smiles on their faces and decided to go chat with them. Twenty minutes later we found ourselves being invited to visit their class (professor included, though she didn't know it yet). Boarding the elevator to the tenth floor, I asked God to guide us in our interactions with the students.
After chatting for a while with students eager to practice English and talk to Americans, the professor showed up for class and we prepared to leave. Expecting the "who are you, and what are you doing in my classroom" response to our presence, I rose to greet the professor when she came in, and soon began sharing about our journey...."We're traveling around for a year and volunteering in all sorts of ways, working at orphanages and with AIDS patients and things like that..." I paused before adding the last bit, taking a step of faith into unknown territory in this foreign land. "...and with Christian churches."
"Oh! Are you a Christian?" the professor immediately asked. "Yes, I am," I responded, praying in my mind as I said it.
"OHH! So am I! I am a born-again Christian!" she said exuberantly. "Do you know about a Christian church in Ho Chi Minh City?"
As it turned out, this non-Vietnamese professor had been living in the city for seven months, praying to God to help her find a Christian church family. She hadn't found one yet. (below, me, Sara and Krystle with our translator and the professor)
Thank God we know about several through our ministry contacts...and now we get the chance to not only bring her to church, but get her connected with local believers. Furthermore, our visit to the campus had two-fold purpose: we invited the two girls and several other (non-Christian!) students to join us at church Sunday and at a coffee shop afterward. (Vietnamese students LOVE hanging out at coffee shops, maybe even more than Americans do!)
We left the campus with praises on our lips, thankful that God had heard her prayers and had brought us to the university to encourage and bless her and help her find a Christian family.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."
We didn't understand what good might come of our university visit, or where our paths that day would lead. But God knew, and he led us straight where he wanted us to go. (below, a view of the city, with a Catholic church prominent. about 10% of the population of Ho Chi Minh City is Catholic)
It was more than a year ago but I remember the night clearly. I was nearly sobbing as I confessed to my friends at small group that I was terrified of not figuring out what God wanted me to do with my life. I didn't have a clue what job to pursue, where to move to, or what to make a priority as soon as my job ended in December. I couldn't hold back the tears that came from these fears. But Emily, Paul, Jeremy, Dan, and Tom encouraged and prayed for me that night, and I was grateful for it. ...
Just a little while later, I was hangin' out with some of my girls from work at Samaritan's Purse, Ginna and Nichole. (hey girls! I miss you!) I remember the conversation clearly...we were discussing our hopes/plans/dreams/fears about the future and what we might do when our internships ended in December. As I began sharing some of my dreams with the girls, Ginna said--and I remember the moment clearly--"Have you ever heard of the World Race?"
